'Twas the Night Before Christmas, ala Stalag 13
Jeff Evans
2006 Papa Bear Awards - Second Place
Best Songfic/Poerty
‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all
through the camp,
The snow it was
flying, our clothes were all damp,
Our wet clothes
were hung near the stovepipe with care,
In hopes they
would dry in the meager hot air.
The prisoners were
shivering, so cold in their bunks,
While visions of
summertime caused such a funk,
But Carter had his
gloves, and I my crush cap,
Even Newkirk was
not up for a nice game of craps.
When out by the
gate there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my
bunk to see what was the matter,
Away to the old
sink I flew like a hound,
Pulled up on the
faucet to scan the compound.
The moon was so
bright and we had lots of snow,
And I could see
everything the camp had to show,
When, what to my
wondering eyes should appear,
A big German truck
with eight prisoners for here.
With a skinny
young driver, so strong and so able,
He waved at old
Schultz, who looked downright miserable,
Schultz trudged to
the truck looking tired of the game,
To the prisoners
he shouted and called them by name.
Raus Wilson! Raus Simmons! Raus
Walker and Dixon!
Schnell Davis! Schnell Blackman! Schnell
Saunders and Nixon!
To the barracks
with you! Get on out of the cold!
Now raus
with you! Raus with you! You are not that old!
As cold as it was
they hastened to budge,
Right towards our
small barracks they started to trudge,
They huddled
together, their impatience grew,
Their coats
wrapped around them, and Schultz followed too.
And then in a
moment, I heard by the door,
The stomping and
grumbling, the men sure were sore,
As I pushed down
the faucet and was turning around,
Through the door
old Schultzie came with a bound.
He was wearing his
greatcoat, all dingy and gray,
And his clothes
were all sprinkled with powdered snow spray,
His little used
rifle he had flung on his back,
And he looked at
us all as we lay in the sack.
His eyes looked so
tired, all red and quite teary,
His cheeks were
like roses, his nose like a cherry,
The lines of his
mouth were drawn up like a bow,
We could tell he
was glad to get out of the snow.
The stubble of
moustache he had ‘neath his nose,
Was sprinkled with
gray, and was damp from the snow,
He had a broad
face and a big fat round belly,
That shook, when
he chuckled like a bowlful of jelly.
He was chubby and
plump, not your typical Kraut,
And I laughed when
I saw him looking so tuckered out,
His helmet was
dripping, but stayed on his head,
As he moved
through the barracks, we stayed in our beds.
He spoke not a
word, and made not a peep,
As he pointed the
prisoners to bunks for their sleep,
Then warming his
fingers by our meager fire,
He gave us a nod
then he walked towards the door.
He pulled open the
door and the wind blew right in,
We shivered and
shook since our blankets were thin,
But I heard him
exclaim as he turned off our lights,
“Merry Christmas
to all, and to all a good-night!”
Text and original characters copyright 2004 by Jeff Evans
This copyright covers only original material and characters, and in no way intends to infringe upon the privileges of the holders of the copyrights, trademarks, or other legal rights, for the Hogan's Heroes universe.